so-crafty.net

Wow, almost (if not all) of my paycheck is gone. I had to buy some more new blouses for my new job and wasn’t expecting my bill to be quite that much. I also went online to see my class schedule and to see if my English Professor had been announced yet, but still says “TBA.” I needed to get my books for my math class anyway; it was way expensive for them bundled and I didn’t realize until today I had the option of buying the two of the books seperately. So, I went online and found them seperate and spent about half of what the bundled book cost. But still! It’s so expensive (especially since my loan hasn’t come in yet!)

The payment for my classes is due by the 18th (tomorrow!) and because my loan has not been processed, packaged and been available, I also had to put 25% of the class(es) down so that I wouldn’t be dropped from the classes because the loan hasn’t been processed and packaged yet. I now have until October 23rd to come up with the remaining balance - and hopefully the loan will be ready by then, or else this first semester is totally on me. I really wish that someone had explained to me in the way beginning that the FAFSA does not seek out loans, but only grants that you qualify for and that loans are completely seperate entities. And yes, after standing in line for an hour and a half on Thursday, I finally did get to talk to someone which is how I found out all of these things.

Friday was a pretty sad day for me. One of my coworkers gave me a cake and I wound up crying (I’m such a softy!) I recieved hugs from just about everyone - and that made me cry all over again. Who would have thought I could have been so attached to these people? I am really going to miss some of my favorite customers, and even as much as I complain about one of the ladies there, she is the one I will miss the most. I am excited for tomorrow, but a little nervous too. I’m worried that I won’t fit in or be up to par with what they want. I hope that I’ve gotten the right clothes and the right styles; and I hope I look the part.But I think that everyone feels that way before their first day, right? I know that if I just put my head to it, I know that I will succeed!

People have called me crazy recently for starting a new job and starting college all within 2 weeks of each other. Yes, I do think I am a little crazy, but I think that I can handle this; actually I know I can! These were things I needed to do and wanted to do. I need to create a better vision of myself and see myself differently and this is how I’m going to do it. People can either choose to like me or choose not to like me, but the only person that really matters in all of this is myself. I’ll be able to financially get back on my feet and that is one thing I’m really looking forward to!

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I stole this from Melissa and Claudia.

8 things I must accomplish before I die:

1. I have to agree with Melissa and Jen on this one. Travel. The two countries I’d love to visit are the UK and Canada, and a few states I’d like to visit are: Alaska, Maine, Vermont and Tennessee.

2. Get out of debt! (self-explanatory)

3. Actually finish a novel. The one I’m working on right now I’m at 9,000 words but I just keep on pushing it away. I want to finish this novel.

4. Lose weight. I am not happy about my weight and now that I’ll actually be able to sit down and have a lunch break at my new job (instead of eating on the go) I’ll be able to eat healthier things. Don’t you know that the most unhealthy things for you are things you can just grab and go?!

5. Get my Bachelors degree. I still can’t decide if I want to become a Teacher (as someone said, English Teachers are a dime a dozen) or if I want to become a Registered Nurse. Either way, I want to get my Bachelors, maybe even my Masters some day. The ultimate way to bring self-confidence.

6. I’d love to go to the Superbowl or Football game - and if I was able, I’d bring my Dad too! I think that the one thing my Dad has given me is the love of the Chicago Bears (awwww).

7. Meet Mr. Right. Though I’m not ready now, eventually I will be and I hope that everything I’ve gone through will make the experience of meeting Mr. Right be all the more sweeter.

8. Eventually (not now, and I know that there are people that are going to go “omg!”) but I’d really like to eventually have a dog; or someday if/when Birdeo is no longer with me (*sniff, sniff* He’s about 8 years old now), I’d love to have either a Whiteface Cinnamon Pearl Pied Cockatiel* or a Quaker Parrot.**

I tag: you internets!

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I’ve got this song stuck in my head, it kind of of fits how I’m feeling right now. I got an email from jerkface a few days ago that he wanted to “get rid” of the cat I we handfed as a two-week old. He was a rescue as his mother died when he was just 2 weeks old, and I had driven across the state to the old city I used to live in (near Daytona Beach) and brought him home. I fed him every 2 hours (around the clock). He will be 3 on my birthday (October 04) this year. So, since Thursday evening I have been trying to make arrangements to get all of his cats away from him because I do not want to deal with him anymore. So, last night he emailed me back that he decided to “keep” Kimber and that he wanted to make arrangements for me to see him and to see me. Drop. Dead. I have no want, desire or any reason to even want to see him. Besides, he’s got his girlfriend and her two kids and he made his choices and it took me a good five minutes of staring at my screen to just hit “Block Sender.” It was a really hard move because I just wiped away whatever knowledge I would have had over Kimber away. I guess it’s better that way, that way I’ll just never know.

My Folks and I were coming back from breakfast and church this morning and we were about to make a left-hand turn to get onto the street where one of the grocery stores is; and around here newspaper vendors sell the newspapers on every major intersection. We were about 4 or 5 cars away from the light when the car in front of us when we notice one of the two teenagers is acting awfully odd. The kid in the backseat kept opening and closing his door, opening and closing his door. Suddenly, the driver puts the car in reverse and then in drive and starts to make his way slowly into the oncoming traffic, then decides he doesn’t want to do that, so he puts the car in reverse and backs up a little bit and leaves it in reverse. The light changes, thankfully the guy didn’t slam on the gas, or he would have totally hit my Dads car…but instead the kid realizes its in reverse and changes it to drive and pulls up along side the newspaper stack. All of the sudden the guy jumps out of the backseat and makes a beeline towards the sellers stack of newspapers and his bookbag. He jumps back in the car and the driver flees through the red light. I thought the kid had grabbed some of the newspapers, but my Dad flags down the seller and tells him that they stole his bookbag. About a fifteen minutes to a half hour later as we were making our way back home, the seller had managed to have the police arrive and we tell the officer what we saw.

What the heck is wrong with people nowadays? What makes one person think that they are better than other person or think that they deserve something? No one owes anyone anything. That’s like the poor family that was murdered in China before the Olympics; how insane. I don’t care if you are American, Canadian, English, Danish or whatever - it’s wrong to take the life of another person. It’s wrong to take something that doesn’t belong to you, whether it’s a life or bag or money. I just don’t understand anyone anymore.

On a more positive note, I sent in my Stafford Loan application and I’m eagerly waiting for the response. It kind of stinks that I made too much money last year to qualify for a grant. I also sent away for some scholarships, but I’m a little too late on the deadline, maybe for next year. Heh. I just can’t get over the fact that I “made too much” money last year; I would have gladly shown them my refrigerator, or my gas tank - then you tell me who made too much. Now it’s off to search for textbooks!
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So, the other day I was looking through some pages online to see if I could find some artwork to put above my desk or in the bedroom and I stumbled across this gem: Tomasz Rut and Park West Gallery. I was absolutely floored! Talk about some amazing artwork pieces they have to offer. I really enjoyed browsing through their gallery…I couldn’t believe how much stuff they had to offer; something like 6 pages of different paintings that you could purchase. I was more drawn to some of the more whimsical pieces, but all of the paintings were brilliantly done. Tomasz Rut’s artwork was brilliant too - I was most drawn to his “Equestriana” painting.

I was also pretty pleased to see that Park West Galleries had a section on what to look for in a good piece of art. Newbies like myself might pay too much for a piece of artwork when the person behind it may or may not be a quality or well-known artist. I also didn’t know that appraisals aren’t based off the appraisers knowledge, they actually have things that they go by to estimate the value of the artwork. Overall I really liked this website and I think that if someone is really looking for a stellar painting that they should check them out.

Okay, I haven’t been able to say anything up to this point because I hadn’t told my job yet, and I didn’t want it to be a shock (and it would have made me look bad) in case they had happened to come across this website. So…my good news is, I just was hired at a new company and I start on the 18th! I’ll still be doing my pharmacy tech stuff, but it’s for an insurance company and I’m really, really, excited. It will be a great increase in pay (which is what I was one of the things I was looking for). The Pharmacist herself reminded me of one of the friends I have, she was super nice. I got a call back from HR today because I had had questions on the insurance and the dress code (I just wanted a clarification).

I finally get to dress up to go to work, heh. I know that sounds insanely stupid, but yeah, I’ve always had to adhere to a crummy old uniform. I actually bought a pantsuit yesterday, I really wanted a pinstripe, but this one is solid black. It’s super cute too (if you could call a suit cute). It’s black wide-legged slacks with a cuff (not to be confused with a hem, this is turned outward) at the bottom, the blouse is white button down with an awesome collar and the jacket is also black, long sleeved and shoulder padded (which I will remove, thank you very much). With this suit, I bought a pair of high heels that strap around the ankle - totally me. Even my Mother agreed, which is pretty sweet. The second outfit I purchased has a wide flaired leg, kind of creamy mocha. The top is awesome too - V neck with a criss cross in front and a 3 foot tie in the back.

It’s like I’m starting over - completely over. Wiping away my past and creating a totally new Jamie. It’s a little scary to think that everything I have done is my past, and everything that I’m working for - I mean really working for, is just going to make me, me. I’m going to be twenty-five this year. Twenty-Five! I feel like I wasted so much precious time, thinking things were going to turn out differently.

The College has my transcripts and now I’m just waiting for the Financial Aid to be finished. I need to buy my books but can’t until I have the money (which will have to be this week, in all honesty). I wish that things were going more smoothly and I wish I hadn’t procrastinated so much at the beginning of the summer. Oh well, I can’t fix it now!

My cousins wedding is in November and she’s having her bridal shower sometime in September - I can’t be there (as much as I’d like to!) but I haven’t seen her since I was 21, and that was only for a few random days while she was on vacation down here. I don’t particularly feel close to her, but I am very happy for her and her Fiancé. I do feel a tad bit jealous that everyone around me seem to be in these great relationships. But I know that I’m not ready to get into a relationship yet, I want to do so many more things before I even attempt to get in a relationship with someone else! i want to get myself at least halfway through school, go on vacations with friends, become just a general success in life. I don’t want to tie myself down to anyone.

I was emailed this question the other day and I thought I’d post it.
You seem so much different than you used to appear online. Do you think your ex has a direct influence on how you see relationships and life in general?
Well, my life with S was no walk in the park, to be honest with you. We were only happy for about the first six months. I started to really hate my relationship when we went on Vacation that first year. He made me feel like any time spent away from him was wrong - even if it was spent with family. He made me feel like I was beneath him, like a servant. The answer to your question is “you’re halfway right.” He did have a direct influence on my life and it was in a very indirect way. After getting out of my relationship with him and seeing how he could still use things against me to hurt me even more (the dog, not paying the electric in my name etc) I really realized that I simply didn’t want to be that way anymore. I really didn’t. It was the result of those feelings that pushed me to go to school and pushed me to find a new job. I realized that I don’t need anyone else to make me whole.

Man, if I had my debit card in my pocket right now, my pocket would be on fire! I have used it this weekend to buy new tops from Aéropastale and Hollister, an anniversary gift for my wonderful sister and her hubbie (nope, not telling!), earrings from JCPenney’s, new slacks and a blouse from Target, countless bottles of Dr. Pepper from work to drink while at work (Dr. Pepper, you’re the only thing that gets me through some times!) and last night….I went to Bealls and bought new sneakers that should be here today or tomorrow (darn my big feet….heh). Phew, I’d like to cry just thinking about all those things and my money! I still have jean-envy, and wished that I had picked up those pinstripped jeans from Aéropastale on Sunday (they were on sale!) but alas, I didn’t.

Speaking of Dr. Pepper, I won! Of all the bottles of soda that I buy that say You could be a winner!….it’s never me. I never win! So, the other night as I twirled off the cap of the soda and looked at it - faint little letters on the bottom spelled out “uwin” mixed in the code. I practically jumped up and down and hugged people (okay, so I didn’t hug people, maybe just thought about it….) I went home and eagerly typed into the box online my code and big bold letters seemed to shout “You win, You win!” I scroll down………..yeah. I won alright. I won an Indiana Jones screensaver (pardon me, while I gather my composure). Just what I always wanted, a screensaver! a wonderful screensaver of a movie I’d never go see! Yay! (you do realize that I’m being sarcastic, right?)

So, today I called the other College, and in my best bubbly adult-please-help-me-before-I-explode voice, I tell the lady on the other end of the line my dilema. She tsk-tsks in that “I could care less” kind of manner, then tells me that I have to call the main campus. “Did you pay the fee?” she asked me. Fee?! There is a fee for my College to get my transcripts from the other College? omgwth?! If I had known that I would have driven over to Daytona today and used my already burning debit card and paid the fee and then shipped it off myself. How absurd! They have had my request for almost four weeks and not only did not bother to call me but they didn’t even shoot me a letter or email to tell me to pay up! I sat here and wasted four weeks waiting for these transcripts (that really kind of makes me wonder why I didn’t call earlier. I gave them the benefit of the doubt). I have nineteen days to get my transcript and in those nineteen days, I have to get my financial aid set up so that I can start school on the twenty-fifth. I feel like acting like a five year old and jumping up and down and stomping the floor and then doing a faceplant and having a tantrum.

Oh, so then I write on my message board that I’m a part of, (even though I am dogless), just an update on how I am. I posted some of my recent photography and the next day someone writes on there about how to leave the photography to the professionals, and it’s not a great business to be in and yadda, yadda, yadda. Okay, first beauty is in the eye of the beholder, don’t you agree? What I find interesting may not interest you - and just because I don’t have a Nikon D40x or a Digital Rebel XTi does not mean that I can’t shoot some good pictures. And who said that I wanted to be a professional? It’s a hobby; if people like my work and want a picture, then that’s their perogative and I’ll be happy to sign it and sell it - it’s my enjoyment. I never said that I wanted to be a Photographer - as a matter of fact, I was accepted to a Photography school in Tampa based on my portfolio alone a few years ago. But when they failed to proved me proof that I could earn what they were telling me, I decided that it just was not worth the effort. I just wish people could tell me to my face these things instead of writing about it for the whole world to see - and before you go all pointing fingers and “omg, that’s what you’re doing!” on me, I already messaged the person and told them.

And by the way Home Before Dark by Susan Wiggs is an awesome book; I’m currently reading it and it’s wonderful. And this is my new candleholder from Michaels.